Sunday, August 25, 2013

BLOG TOUR: Diary of a Dieter by Marie Coulson

Curvy girl, Charlene Winters, had it all: the great career, wonderful friends and a dreamy fiancé. 

With her wedding day just three weeks away, Charlene is dealt a devastating blow. Suddenly finding her life, hopes and plans in tatters, the jilted bride sinks into despair and a tub of Ben and Jerry’s cookie dough. With the heartache of her fiancé’s infidelity still fresh, Charlene’s whisked away by her friends on a life-changing holiday. But how will this big fish cope now that she’s back in the dating pond and surrounded by slender trouts with Botox lips?

Frustrated by best friend Adam thwarting her attempts at romance, and her girls Vanessa and Dana eager to set her up with a boy toy, Charlene decides the time for change is upon her. What she needs is a change of scenery, a change of dress size and maybe, a change of heart.

I loved this book! Charlene is my type of girl. I loved that she was so real. And that Adam loved her the way she was, no matter what her size. This book had me giggling and laughing out loud. Charlie's best friends were a riot! And Adam, I just felt for him and his love for Charlie. This is a great read and recommend it to anyone who needs a good laugh and a little swoony love. Excellent!

Hauling my gym bag beside me, I pushed my way into the gym. The smell of sweat immediately wafted up my nostrils, and I gagged loudly. Dana cringed beside me.

“Oh my God. Charlene, it smells like crotch in here!”

Snorting a laugh, I held my hand over my mouth and nose. She wasn't wrong. It wreaked, but the need to lose weight was overruling my need for fresh—or at least less clammy—air. Holding our breath, we made our way through the reception to the large aerobics hall at the far end. If there was ever a fear of us being blinded by old women and their cellulite … we were wrong. A sea of slim, fit, toned, and tall beauties turned and began scanning us up and down.

“I feel naked. Let’s go. We clearly don’t belong here.”

Spinning around, I moved toward the exit, but Dana blocked my path.

“Nope. You wanted to do this, and I bet they didn't always look like that. Maybe this class really works!”

I furrowed my brow at her “Do you ever drop that optimistic glass you carry around?”

Dumping her bag on a bench, which was pushed against the white-washed wall, she smiled brightly. “Nope.”

Well, of course she was feeling good! As she slipped off her coat, I stared at her wide-eyed. Wearing a pair of tight leggings, a sports top that showed off far too much of her toned midriff, Dana was right at home amongst these women. I groaned in displeasure.

“Are you kidding me? Where did you get that body, and how much did you pay for it?”

She tilted her head to the side and tutted. “You had one, too, ‘til Brad started steamrolling your fitness regime. Remember?”

Did she always have to be right?

A loud clapping pulled me from my jealous glare at Dana and my attention was now focused on the petite, short blonde-haired, and clearly never-ate-a-cake in her life, fitness instructor at the front of the room.

“Hello everyone! It’s nice to see so many familiar faces, and I notice some new ones. Come up!”

I gawped at Dana who shrugged, grabbed my hand, and began dragging me to the front of the class.

“Hi, hello! It’s always nice to have new blood in our class. I’m the instructor, Francesca. Is this your first time at Zumba?”

I stood awkwardly as dozens of eyes stared at me. That’s right, ladies, I’m the fat girl. Every fitness class has one. And you all suddenly feel so much better about yourselves. That carrot you scoffed for breakfast doesn't look so bad now. Does it?

“No, it’s our first class,” Dana answered.

Oh no. Didn't she know she had just committed the cardinal sin of fitness class?

“Well, you ladies stay right here up front and follow the routine, you’ll be just fine.”

I was in hell. Not only was I the only chubby girl in the room, I was now the entertainment at the front of the class! Clapping her perfectly manicured hands again, Francesca encouraged people to move into a space as she hit the play button on the CD player. The Brazilian sounds of the lambada filled the room, and I felt sick.
Swaying her disgustingly tiny hips back and forth, Francesca began a routine that looked like it belonged on the stage; not a hall in one of the smelliest gyms in London. Dana, of course, was a natural. Swaying, bouncing, and shaking her pert little arse around the room like a pro, she put the rest of us to shame. Well, I say the rest of us, but I mean me.

I bounced, jiggled, and wobbled myself around that mat as though I had a feather tickler shoved up my arse.

I wasn't sure how this would help me lose a few pounds, but with the flailing of my limbs and sporadic movements of my hips, there was a good chance we’d have rain. 

Becca - Hi Vanessa and Dana! Thank you so much for sitting down and talking with me today.

Dana – Our pleasure! We never get to do anything like this! It’s so exciting.

Vanessa – Who’s we? I happen to live a very exciting lifestyle.

Dana – Okay, I’m very excited then!

Becca – Well I am excited to have you both! So tell us a little bit about yourselves and how the two of you meet Charlene and Adam?

Dana – We met Charlie at college. We were all on the same music course. I had my heart set on being a performer on the West End, you know, Broadway. Miss star struck here wanted to be a pop star.

Vanessa – It could have happened!

Dana – If the entire world suddenly went deaf, sure!

Vanessa – You’re just jealous. We met Adam through Charlie. I was convinced they were a couple to be honest. They seemed so close. But I was wrong.

Dana – Well, sort of wrong.

Vanessa – * Winking at Dana* I told you my horny radar wasn’t wonky.

Becca - When Brad called about breaking off the engagement, what was your first reaction?

Dana – I was devastated. I couldn’t believe it when he called me. My heart broke into pieces for Charlie. I felt like I’d been kicked in the gut. I just hurried to be with her as soon as possible.

Vanessa – I wanted to strangle, castrate, torture and stab him with my stilettoes! Slime ball. He’s not even an arsehole, no. He’s the hemorrhoid that grown on an arsehole or a disgusting wart like the ones he probably got from his harlot, Aneska!

Dana - *Cringing* Graphic. Yuk.  And Charlene?

Vanessa – Oh, yeah, obviously I was hurt for her.

Becca - Why do you think it took Charlene so long to see that Adam had feeling for her beyond their friendship?

Vanessa - *Rolling her eyes* Oh, God only knows! It was obvious to everyone but her. That girl was so far back in the friendship closet that she was almost in Narnia! I wondered how long it would be before we would have to drag her from it kicking and screaming.

Dana – Thank goodness she came to her senses before it was too late!

Becca - What do you miss about living in the UK? What do you really like about living in the US?

Dana – We haven’t made the commitment to move just yet but with Charlie and Adam there, visiting them so often makes it very tempting! I love the people, restaurants, atmosphere and being a hairstylist, I love the salons and beauty parlors all over L.A! I’d happily live the dream and become a celebrity hairdresser! I’d miss my family though.

Vanessa – You’d miss your family but you could always look up a hottie you know there…

Dana - *Blushing* Ness!

Vanessa - *Rolling eyes* The shopping. I love the shopping. The designer boutiques in the US are stunning and with the pounds to dollars exchange rate, I can max out my credit cards and get twice the stuff!

Dana – And twice the debt.

Vanessa - *Shrugging* It’s worth it!

Becca - It was really fun talking with you both, thanks ladies for joining me today!

Dana – Thanks for inviting us!

Vanessa – My pleasure. And I’m sure, everyone else’s too. No one can ever get enough of me. It’s a curse I have to bear.

Dana – You’re certainly my curse.

Vanessa – And you love it! It’s been a blast! 

Born and bred in England, Marie discovered her love for writing when she was a mere child. Beginning with poetry and short stories, she soon discovered her flare and passion for the written word.

After pursuing a career in childcare, education and the care of the elderly, she left her job in the summer of 2012. Embarking on a new career as a therapist, it was at this point that she finally sat down to write a novel that had been plotted for nearly three years. Only three months later…Bound Together was born.

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