“Catalyst”
– Noah Reese
“You’re a worthless excuse for a daughter. I wish I
never had you.”
Frantically, my eyes
dart around the room for her. She’s here. I know it. I can smell the stench of
alcohol in the air. Whipping around, I
search for any trace of her, my entire body shaking and the knot in my throat
unbearable. Tears fill my eyes as they anxiously race around the kitchen,
finally landing on the cabinet where she used to store her liquor.
Memories flood my mind,
the immobilizing terror that I would feel every time she approached it. The prayers I would send to no one in
particular, just hoping that she wouldn’t open that fucking cabinet for just one night. Prayers that fell on deaf ears.
Slowly I make my way to
the white doors, crouching down in front of them.
“You killed him and I will make damn sure you spend
the rest of your life paying for that. I’ll never again know true happiness
because you fucking exist.”
Shaking my head to try
to clear her voice from my mind, I set my trembling fingers on the silver knobs
and yank the doors open. Nothing.
A sigh of relief
escapes my lips as I close them. Rising,
I turn to take a step towards the sink when another memory strikes.
“Mama, don’t please.” I cry out loud as she
approaches me with the scissors
.
“I have to, Tatum.
Your beauty does not match the vile, revolting child that you really are
on the inside. Everyone should see you for who you are.” I try to run, but she grabs my long dark hair
as I pass by her, swiping the blades so close to my neck that I can feel the cool
metal against my skin. Laughing she chunks my tresses into the sink. “You’re an ugly person, Tatum. Inside…and
out, now.”
“God, Daddy. Please help me,” I say out loud, lifting my
shaking hands to my forehead, threading sections of hair through my fingers. “Please, Daddy, I need you.” After a while,
calmness spreads throughout my body. I’m
no longer shaking, but the voices are still there.
Turning the faucet on,
I splash water on my face repeatedly, trying to drown out them out along with
the memories. After wiping my face dry
with a dishtowel, I hear the crackling of gravel as Noah’s Jeep pulls up into
the driveway.
Breathing in deeply, I
try to regain my composure as I walk to the door, straightening my shirt and
running my fingers through my hair before I reach for the knob. Hearing steps in front of the house, I barely
crack the door and poke my head out to make sure it’s really him. With all the crazy shit going on in this
house I can’t be too sure. But, much to
my relief, there he is, standing on my porch in his classic white t-shirt, work
jeans and boots, his fist raised about to knock.
And just like that, the
voices are gone and my head is clear.
I release a comforted
breath and feel the corners of my mouth slightly lift at the sight of him.
“What are you smiling
at?” Noah asks, seemingly nervous.
Opening the door wider, I gesture for him to enter my house of horrors.
The sight of his disheveled hair makes me grin even more.
“Your hair, it’s nice
to see it like that. I don’t know why,
but it makes me smile.” I clear my throat.
His nerves must be contagious, because suddenly I feel that hummingbird feeling
in my chest.
With him now inside, I
close the door and head towards the kitchen, checking over my shoulder to make
sure he’s following me. “Want something
to eat?”
Once I see he’s fallen
into step, I turn back around and round the corner, making sure to avoid
looking at the sink. The memory still lingering on the hinges of my mind, I try
to push it as far away as I can. “I don’t have much, but I did manage to make
it to the store over the weekend.”
“No, I’m good, Thanks,
though.” He shoves his hands in his pockets and rocks onto the balls of his
feet.
Thinking about our last
night together, I feel the frustration mounting within myself. I should kick my
own ass for kissing him. Everything
seems so edgy between us now and I hate it.
Running my fingers through my hair, I twist it at the nape of my neck
and bring it over my shoulder.
“Well, what’s up? What couldn’t wait until tonight?”
His eyes widen.
“Tonight? What’s tonight?”
“I picked up Sadie’s
shift.”
He grinds his teeth
together as he leans against the wall, crossing his arms over his chest. “I told you to take the entire week off,
Tate. You don’t need to work right now. You need to concentrate on healing.”
I know.
“No, I don’t. I’m sick and tired of being cooped up in this
depressing house. I need to get out, to
stay busy. I feel like I’m losing it,
honestly.” My hands are still trembling
and I’m not sure if it’s the sudden anxiety from being around Noah or the fact
that I’m losing my mind. His eyes break from mine and land on them as they continue
to shake like a leaf. Pressing himself
off the wall, he takes a small, timid step towards me.
I want to tell him to
stop. To stay where he is. To tell him to leave this house and forget
about me. That I could ruin his perfect
life by just being near him.
But I don’t.
I let him continue
taking those steps until he’s right in front of me and even breathe out a sigh
of contentment when he wraps his arms around me, pulling me into his frame. The
tears fall as he lightly traces my back with his fingers, and with each touch,
my uneasiness lessens. I know it’s
selfish, but I would give anything to stay in this moment forever.
Circling my arms around
his waist, I press my forehead against his chest and watch the droplets as they
plummet from my face towards his boots, dark spots forming as they strike. After a couple of seconds, I replace my
forehead with my chin, daring to look into his muddy brown eyes, full of their
usual intensity as he studies me, peering into my soul. In them, I find complete solace and
protection, and the sudden desire to share things with him that I swore I’d
never share with another living person.
“I don’t know what’s
wrong with me, Noah. I feel like I’m going fucking crazy. Ever since Friday, I
can’t stop them. The voices. My mother’s leading their charge to my
insanity.” My throat closes almost
completely shut. “I hate this house. I
hate being here, alone. So many
memories…” I trail off, my strength fading, no longer able to keep from
bawling.
I close my eyes as the
warm moisture cascades down my cheeks and runs down my neck. Unwrapping his arms, he moves his hands to my
face, wiping the tears away, but it’s useless.
They’re replaced instantly.
“Tate, open your
eyes. Look at me, baby.” I keep them closed, not ready to face the
wary expression in front of me.
“Let me in, Tate. Open
your eyes.” The heartache in his tone
and the tremble of his voice prompts me to open them immediately. As soon as our eyes catch, a breath hitches
in my throat. His eyes shining, he
gently wraps his fingers around my shoulders, pressing his thumbs softly into
my flesh as he speaks.
“You’re not alone. I’m right here.” A slight smile of relief
breaks through the tears on my face.
I watch his mouth tip
up in response. “Now, tell the voices to
shut the fuck up because it’s my turn.”
I was so excited when I heard that Tatum and Noah would be getting a book of their own. I love this entire series and Running in Place is the perfect addition to this amazing family!
Tatum has always felt she was never good enough. Never good enough for her mother, never good enough for her brother and never good enough for her boyfriend. She had no self worth. So why care. Having a strained relationship with her brother, she felt she was always under his thumb. Her rebellious streaks always landed her in some trouble.
Noah is perfection and way beyond Tatum's reach or so it seems. But Noah is drawn to her. He protects her. He needs her to survive his own hell.
This book had me on that rollercoaster ride that you feel scared but want to ride it over and over again. Tatum is destructive and you just want to shake her sometimes or hug her and tell her it will all be ok. Noah is sexy, cool and damaged in his own way. The two of them is electric. L.B. had me in tears! Sobbing, ugly cry tears by the end.
So good. Well worth the time and certainly the money and will definitely go into my rotation of re-reads and favorites for 2013! 5 heart strumming stars!
L.B. Simmons is a graduate of Texas
A&M University and holds a degree in Biomedical Science. She has been a
practicing Chemist for the last 11 years. She lives with her husband and three daughters
in Texas and writes every chance she gets.
Connect with L.B.:
T.H.
Snyder is a 33 year old mother of 2. She has been an avid romance and
paranormal reader for well over a year and felt it was about time to explore
her creative side and write her own book.
